93 Witty Play on Words that Sound Clever

Want to impress someone? Witty, humorous, and incredible puns that make you sound clever are just what you need to spice up the party and be the center of attention. Of course, you need the proper timing as well as the best play on words ideas that you can think of!

If your mind is stuck searching the English language for a double entendre or a word with a double meaning, fret not! Just check out these play on words and take inspiration from them!

93 Play on Words Ideas

1. I meant to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
2. Biologists have recently produced immortal frogs. They removed their vocal cords so they can’t croak.
3. Insect puns bug me.
4. One podiatrist is a sole heeler.
5. What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
6. If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory.
7. Did you hear about that great new shovel? It’s groundbreaking.
8. A horse is a very stable animal.
9. Our local hardware store was giving away dead batteries free of charge.
10. Santa Clause – a patron saint of grammar.
11. I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
12. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
13. Inspecting mirrors is a job I could see myself doing.
14. Why did the calf need to go to bed? Her mother told her it was pasture bedtime.
15. Pencils should have erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
17. I tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. I’m all about raisin awareness.
18. Two antennas got married last Saturday. The reception was fantastic.
19. Ask your pizza guy for a joke, and he’ll deliver.
20. Irony is an amusingly pressed shirt.
21. To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
22. You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
23. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
24. Why does Peter Pan fly all the time? He Neverlands.
25. Don’t step on a poodle, it’s raining cats and dogs!
26. I’d tell you my construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
27. The dairy industry in the Middle East depends on milk Sheikhs.
28. The invention of the wheel created a revolution.
29. If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot… it’s on the right foot.
30. How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler.
31. Cats have great senses of humor. Hiss-terical jokes a-mew-se them.
32. Good dental customers are familiar with the drill.
33. Dyslexic prisoners are not helped by long sentences.
34. The phone call interrupted my nap, and I never did get the rest.
35. I used to be afraid of purchasing residential property for the purpose of renting, but now I have an apartment complex.
36. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
37. Becoming a vegetarian is one big missed steak.
38. My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador.
39. What do you call a piece of toast at the zoo? Bread in captivity.
40. Cats are wonderful friends because they have great purr-sonalities.
41. Dogs are such good companions because they’re so paw-sitive.
42. Someone stole my mood ring, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
43. I miss your fowl jokes, but I’ll get rooster it.
44. Wild cat websites usually have lynx.
45. If you need to fix a broken clarinet, grab the instruction manual and give it a good reed.
46. Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
47. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere.
48. I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home. It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
49. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
50. Insects that make honey are always on their best beehive-iour.
51. A good steak pun is a rare medium well done.
52. A hot and sweaty prince needs heir conditioning.
53. Can February March? No, but April May.
54. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
55. My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
56. Scientists have created a flea from scratch.
57. When a new hive is done, bees have a house-swarming party.
58. If a harp sounds too good to be true, it’s probably a lyre.
59. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
60. When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
61. I didn’t know which bug I should vote for, so I chose the lesser of two weevils.
62. What happened after two silkworms raced? They ended up in a tie.
63. Being in debt attracts a lot of interest from bankers.
64. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
65. Police were called to a daycare center where a two-year-old was resisting a rest.
66. I wanted to wear my camouflage shirt, but I didn’t see it.
67. Spiders are great internet consultants. They always finding bugs on the web.
68. What happened to the soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? He is now a seasoned veteran.
69. Successful corrective surgery on mermaids depends on the detailing.
70. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
71. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
72. Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.
73. Why do female ants sink and male ants float? They’re buoy-ant.
74. What did the tired couch say after a long day? I’m now inclined to lay back.
75. Lumberjacks can keep accurate records because they understand logs.
76. Why was Dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.
77. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
78. I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
79. Deer couples always spend time apart. It makes the heart grow fawn-der.
80. Why did the relationship end between the dentist and a manicurist? Because they constantly fought tooth and nail.
81. It’s not easy to make a dog from wood bark.
82. The guy that fell into the glass-making machine made a spectacle of himself.
83. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
84. I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
85. Do you want to ketchup?
86. Just dill with it!
87. Confusion in electrical businesses is often due to crossed wires.
88. Cauterize: made eye contact with her.
89. I would ask my teddy bear if he’s hungry, but he’s stuffed.
90. The clumsy farmer was a great DJ because he was always dropping beets.
91. I asked my mother to make me a pair of jeans. She was happy to, or sew it seams.
92. I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
93. So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!

How to Sign a Punny Card

Signing a punny card is an art. It should be funny to match the tone without outshining the pun itself. When signing a play on words card, be creative and clever. Here are some ways to sign these cards to keep the recipient smiling:

• Smell ya later
• You love me
• Yours till Niagara Falls
• Yours until further notice
• Anonymously

Conclusion

Puns use words that have a similar sound or double meaning to come up with clever and funny statements. They are used for entertainment and jokes. But, not everyone has the verbal wit to pull it off. Play on words will only become a hit once you deliver it well. So, it might take a couple of tries and a few tricks to pull it off. Right timing and facial expressions are also added factors to keep your audience amused.

Still need more play on words or puns? Check out these gems:

• 25 Hilarious Happy Birthday Puns to Write in a Card
• Over 100 Fishing Quotes and Funny Fishing Puns
• Food Puns
• Anniversary Puns to Write in a Card