Hilarious Jokes About Fishing

Who doesn’t love to tell a fishing joke? If you know any fishermen (or fisherwomen!), telling funny jokes about fishing is always a hit. Here is a collection of some of our favorite fish jokes that are sure to make you chuckle.

Girl making fish face telling jokes about fishing

Funny Fishing Jokes, One-Liners

  • What is the most expensive fish in the world by weight?
    A goldfish.
  • What type of fish won’t shut up?
    A large-mouthed bass.
  • Can you listen to music while fishing?
    Yes, but make sure it’s something catchy.
  • Why do sharks not like to eat clownfish?
    They taste funny.
  • Do fish run their own businesses?
    Yes, but they start their companies on a small scale.
  • What kind of fish surprises even the most somber priest?
    A holy mackerel!
  • Where do fish sleep?
    The riverbed.
  • How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
    Only one. But let me tell you, that bulb was THIS big!
  • Why are fish smarter than most people?
    They don’t spend money trying to catch humans.
  • What is a giant sea monster’s favorite dinner?
    Fish and ships.
  • Why don’t lobsters like to share?
    Because they’re shellfish.
  • How does a fish keep his house clean?
    He hires a mer-maid.
  • Why did the salt-water fish get embarrassed?
    Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
  • How does a fish borrow money?
    They get it from a loan shark.
  • What do the other fish call the stupidest fish in the lake?
    Dumb bass.
  • My kid won’t eat fish. What can I replace it with?
    A cat…they love eating fish.
  • Did you know any human can talk with fish?
    Yeah, you just drop them a line.

Corny Jokes About Fishing

  • What do you call a fish that lost its eye?
  • Where do all fish keep their money?
    In the river bank.
  • What did the fish say when it swam into a solid wall?
  • If a fish had two legs, what would you call it?
    I two knee fish.
  • What type of fish wish they were called Doctor?
  • What’s the most popular instrument for fish to play?
    The bass drum.
  • What does a fish magician say to its audience?
    Pick a cod, any cod.
  • What country did fish originally come from?
  • Who did the musical fish call when his instrument sounded out of tune?
    The piano tuna.
  • Why did the husband go fishing on Valentines Day?
    To catch his wife a bouquet of flounders.
  • What’s a catfish’s favorite food?
    A mouse fish!
  • Why are fish so intelligent?
    Because they always stay in school.
  • What’s the highest grade you can get in fish school?
    A sea plus.
Paper fish with ha-ha-ha written on it

Short Fishing Jokes

  • Man 1: “I will never take my wife fishing again, she did the worst thing!”
    Man 2: “That’s terrible. Did she scare away all the fish?”
    Man 1: “No.”
    Man 2: “Did she forget the bait?”
    Man 1: “Nope.”
    Man 2: “Did she drink all the beer?”
    Man 1: “Worse.”
    Man 2: “What did she do?”
    Man 1: “She caught more fish than I did!”
  • A family went to the beach and saw a maintenance man removing a sign that said “Beware of crocodiles.” The father asked, “Excuse me, are their crocodiles in this water?”
    The maintenance man said, “No, sir. Not anymore.”
    The father looked at his family and exclaimed, “See, it’s perfectly safe to swim here.”
    Turning back to the maintenance man he asked, “Out of curiosity, what happened to the crocodiles?”
    The maintenance man replied, “The sharks ate them.”
  • A lady was sitting on a dock next to a bucket of fish. A game warden walked up and asked to see her fishing license, but she didn’t have a license.
    “I’m going to have to fine you for fishing without a license,” said the game warden.
    The woman replied, “I’m not fishing. I’m exercising my pet fishes.”
    The game warden shook his head and started writing her a ticket.
    The woman said, “Sir, I’m serious. I bring them here every day to swim in the lake for a while, then when they swim back to the dock I take them home and put them back in their tank. Here, I’ll show you.” And she dumped the bucket of fish into the water.
    The game warden looked at her in disbelief and handed her the ticket saying, “Ma’am, you have 30 days to pay the fine for catching these fish without a license.”
    The woman looked back and the game warden and said, “What fish?”
  • Father: Son, you can’t fish here. See that “no fishing” sign over there?
    Son: I’m not fishing daddy, I’m teaching these worms how to swim.
  • Did you know that you can make an octopus laugh?
    Yep, you just have to give them ten-tickles.
  • Did you hear that there’s a pizza place run by shrimp? Their most popular feature is the crust station.
  • George’s friends are really tired of all his fish puns. They’re holding an intervention to try and get him to scale back.
  • Did you know you can make a goldfish old in about half a second? Yep, all you have to do is remove the “g”.
  • I walked into a fishing store on my way to the lake. The owners introduced themselves to me. They said, “Hi, I’m Rod and this is my wife, Annette.”
  • I made fish tacos last night, but they just swam right by them.

More Funny Jokes and Riddles

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